Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
