So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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