Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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