turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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