I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
