my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Randomize
