Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
