Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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