Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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