any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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