god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
