ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
