I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
