At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize