So drunk its hurt
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
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I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
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I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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