Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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