We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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