Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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