Your tits are I can't wait for
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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