Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize