no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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