How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
