I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize