So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
