Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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