idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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