Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
