im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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