sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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