yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
