operation harelip BJ is a go
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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