Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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