just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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