I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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