That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
