Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
