OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Someone came in the potted fern
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
