I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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