dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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