I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
