So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
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Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
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RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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