i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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