CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
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She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
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I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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