I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
