i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
