I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
