So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
