she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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