She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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