And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Drake has all the answers
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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