So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
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His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
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Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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