naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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