My pussy is not your playground.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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