The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
